What does it feel like to perform in front of an audience who might be having their last show in life? 鈥淚 was excited,鈥� Sandy said. 鈥淣ot because I was happy, but because this might be the last time they would have this activity or that visit or that cup of tea. I wanted to be the best cup of tea, the one that they loved the most.鈥�听
Sandy El Bitar was a clown doctor in Lebanon before she came to Canada sixteen years ago. She then worked in retirement homes and a palliative care life enrichment department. Now in Montreal, she is a drama therapist, an artist, and a comedian who uses humor to guide people to cope with grief. She is continuously researching and practicing out-of-the box approaches to offer more accessible and embodied therapeutic work. Who she is now is the culmination of her richly varied life experiences.听
Sandy El Bitar (SEB): I feel that being a clown doctor at a young age really shaped my interest in life because this work was so satisfying; to be able to go to a room and feel the energy that is very heavy and then, when leaving that room, to feel lightness. Slowly, I started understanding that transforming these hard moments is the key to navigating through life, because life is going to be a series of difficult events that we need to deal with.听听
I am sure I also did all these things to deal with my own grief. I lost my dad at a young age; I came from a country where death was very present because of war. I lost friends during the war and even before I finished school. I grew up with images of people dying. By repeating grief over and over again, I learned to grieve better.听听
When I immigrated to Canada, I first worked in retirement homes. There, in the presence of people in their last days, I noticed how we can appreciate the gift of life through these moments in the best way possible. We don't need much in life. Sometimes, one song would change a person鈥檚 mood; sometimes, it was a scoop of ice cream. What we really need is very, very simple, but we need to find it.听
All these experiences led me to drama therapy. It is a recent field, but it deals with things as they are instead of beating around the bush. The actual work happens in connection, in relation, in the moment that person was present. I'm all for what is organic.听
Vanessa Ruan (VR): That is quite an irreducible answer. Are there any thoughts you would like to share about your experience in palliative care?听
SEB: It was hard, but we have to accept the reality of life. I feel we come to life to learn to become graceful losers. I 飞辞苍鈥檛 tell my patients, 鈥淗辞辫别蹿耻濒濒测, you're going to live longer.鈥� No matter how messy it will be, 诲辞苍鈥檛 be scared of our condition.听
Also, I also feel that people working in that field need more support than they receive, because even if they're aware or not, this will impact them. It's the energy that is there. People tell me, 鈥淚f you're a professional, you鈥檙e not impacted.鈥� Of course I am impacted. These are people who I worked with and now they're dying.听听
For me, I am impacted. Is that so wrong? People feel that if they're sad, that's something bad. But this is one of the emotions that we really need to sit with. It is fuel for so many other emotions. Why do we alienate what is difficult and just take what is beautiful? Sit and cry for hours. Why not? Feeling my emotions, this is how I rebel against the way things are moving. Honoring ourselves and our emotions is my fight in this world.
VR: Awesome. Would you like to share one of those transformative moments 测辞耻鈥檝别 experienced in palliative care?听
SEB: I have a patient who had recurrent cancer. He was in pain, and he was angry that God didn't take him yet. One time when I was visiting him, the man farted. Because of it, I told him, 鈥淥h my God, the time has come, your soul is leaking.鈥� It was just a genuine, spontaneous response to break the awkwardness of the smell and the situation. At this moment, we laughed so much that I was crying. Transforming the present moment one after the other, this is all we need.
VR: That was such a nice one. How do you come up with your jokes?听
SEB: My work as a clown doctor taught me how to find humor in what is real in the moment. In a hospital, where people are in pain, you cannot perform to them if the connection is not real. I need to be on the same emotional wavelength as you before starting to play.听听
Still, there is always a risk with humor. Even when I'm making fun of the fact that I lost my dad, I am making fun of my own pain. If I haven't dealt with it yet personally, people will feel that, and it would be heavy. It's because I have done so much work with the healing that I'm able to sit with the pain and still find it funny.
VR: Your comedy show can function as a collective therapy. When audiences laugh, they resonate with you, others in the same room, and with their own memories and grief. You and the audience are both the healer and the ones being healed. What do you think are the unique benefits of a therapeutic comedy show?听听
SEB: Last year, I realized that therapy had become so expensive that I decided to stop doing it one on one. One of peoples鈥� problems is finances, and at the end of the session, I was telling them, 鈥淧ay me 150 dollars.鈥� Why not make it accessible for 40 people at a time? Comedy shows allow me to take the convention out of therapy. 罢丑别测鈥檙别 something that I started to use very recently, but I feel everything that I studied before allowed me to do that. It's like a journey of emotional editing. The stories that we're talking about are about our own pain. 滨迟鈥檚 very real and 颈迟鈥檚 universal. And healing happens in relation. Now, people connect, and this will have a life on its own. It's as if you're putting a seed of this connection that would grow and that's such a good thing.听
VR: If I wish to heal others and myself using humor in my daily life, do you have any suggestions for me and our readers?听
SEB: Of course! In fact, I created a therapeutic intervention for this during my master鈥檚 studies in Creative Arts Therapies (Drama Therapy option). It earned me the Student Award in Preventive Health Research from Concordia's PERFORM Centre in 2019, which supported my research on resilience through humor and play.听听
Here are the intervention steps:听
First, build more playful habits in our lives.听听
Second, connect more with our emotions and become more expressive.听
Thirdly, find humor in everyday life. The world is so absurd, so surreal that if you look at it from afar, it's hilarious. It's a perspective. It is the same as how you find beauty in life because you're looking for beauty.听听
Finally, laugh at your shortcomings, laugh at yourself. We all have things that we don't like in ourselves. Being able to play and laugh about these things tells us that we're not threatened by them.听
Sandy produces Not for Laughs, an exploration of the intersection between mental health, life enrichment, and the transformative power of art, play, and humor. Through performances and interactive experiences, her productions address serious topics, challenge societal norms, and promote social impact, aiming to foster resilience, connection, and transformation in diverse communities. If you would like to work with Sandy to create purposeful, impactful experiences for people and communities, you can contact her at s.ndy.elb [at] gmail.com, or on Instagram at @Sindee_elb. Her previous work can be found .